I cried a few days ago. It’s not a big deal; except it is. You see I have been unable to cry for months. It is not that I have not felt like crying. I have felt what everyone feels—sadness, loneliness, anger, despair, confusion, etc. But when the overwhelming emotion came; tears did not.
A few days ago, however, they came, and they came in abundance.
I was in church, and we were singing. The music was awesome. The people were engaged But more importantly God was there. As we sang, we sang about the blinding glory of Christ, reminding ourselves how every knee will bow before the lion/lamb of Judah. We sang about the greatness of our God, of submitting ourselves wholly, stunned by His majesty. We sang of a good Father, who loves and leads us through all of life.
And there they came.
The tears that had alluded me for months poured from my eyes. I am not sure what finally broke me. Was it the multi-generation worship team, a team with a middle schooler on drums, a high schooler on guitar, and senior adults on the praise team? Probably. Was it the fact that it was a multi-ethnic congregation singing, one with African Americans in front of me, Hispanic Americans beside me, with Asian and Caucasian Americans around me? Definitely.
There are probably hundreds of reasons I cried. I am not sure. But I am sure of this: my tears were like scales falling from my eyes. I saw, I mean really saw, people, people for whom Jesus died gathered in one voice of praise (1 Peter 2:10). I saw people who no longer looked like trees walking, people who were instead broken and redeemed, hurting and healed, sorrowful and rejoicing, filled with all the beautiful contradictions of broken yet redeemed people. In other words, I saw a small picture of heaven where we will sing a new song:
Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed a people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth (Rev. 5:9-10).
So, today I thank God for tears, because these tears remind me of my great king. They remind me of the indomitable hope we have in Christ. And I am not alone, for God has a people drawn from every tribe, language, nation, and people. They remind me that the Great Commission will not fail, that I have much to be thankful for, and of the power of worship. They remind me that I am His, and He is mine.
I could go on, but tears are coming again, and I don’t want to miss what God is teaching me!